Our natural state when we are born is happiness and curiosity. We generally only get upset when we are wet, tired, hungry or in pain. The sad thing is that we are then conditioned out of this happy, curious state as we grow up. You know how it goes.. be quiet, stop asking questions, because I say so grow up, be sensible and on it goes and consequently by the time we are adults happiness is no longer our default emotion and we sometimes have to work at being happy.
So here are 5 ways to be happier:
1.Mind your own business.
Byron Katie says that there are only three types of business in the world. My business, your business and God's business.
My business is what I think and how I behave. Your business is how you think and behave and God's business is everything else- the weather, war, natural disasters, life and death. We are only unhappy when we are interfering in someone else's business.
When we think that they should behave in a certain way or that they should think the same as us or that death and earthquakes shouldn't happen. We have no way of knowing what is really true jn those situations, what is really best for that other person because we are not them. Instead we should be focusing on what we think and how we behave so that we can be doing what is best for us and consequently, those around us.
2. Take responsibility for your life.
In understanding that it is our choices that have caused our life to be the way it is, we can choose to do something about the parts that aren't working out do well for us.
When we project our feelings onto someone else- that person made me sad because they said.. that person made me happy because they make me feel safe etc we are actually giving our power away and instead of proactively participating in our lives we are passively being led by others.
3. Acceptance vs expectation.
We have an idea of how things should be. Mother's should behave like this, lovers should behave in their way and we don't like it when that's not what we are seeing.
Step back from the emotions that you are feeling and really look at the other person involved. Who are they?
Are they capable of doing what you are asking of them?
If not, lower your expectation and accept them for who they are.
We can only do our best with who we are at the time and your anger or punishment won't change that. If you don't like the person that you're involved with then find ways to lessen your involvement with them but don't waster your energy on trying to change them. That's not your business (see point1)
4.Go with the flow
You cannot control every situation, it is not your job to fix the world, you cannot hold onto grudges from the past and expect to be happy. You are not responsible for other people's happiness. You cannot create a prefect, safe world. Life will happen, nothing stays the same, everything changes and it's in trying to stop that from happening that we put ourselves under pressure.
Let it all go. Do what you can, when you can. Be kind, be compassionate and go with the flow.
5.Choose to be happy.
Life will happen to us no matter what we try to do or think about it. The only thing that we can ever do is choose how to respond to it. So choose to be happy and positive and full of love and joy.
By doing do, you are not triggering your stress responses so you will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more efficiently. You can choose to speak with kindness and act with compassion to reduce misunderstanding and conflict.
You will attract more positivity into your life and by doing all of the suggestions above, your relationships will be better, your stress reduced, your opportunities for love and joy will increase and your life will flow easier.
All of which will make you HAPPY
If you would like to know more or begin your coaching journey with me, please get in touch. Speak soon.
Chris. X
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